Please and Prank You

There was a girl,
Who so loved surprises.
Her closet contained
A trillion disguises.

Around every corner,
She waited to scream.
She’d pull every chair
Right out from your seat.

Buying you flowers
For any occasion.
Spurring unprompted
Balloon invasions.

Elaborate pranks
Dreamed up while she slept.
As soon as one finished
The next one she prepped.

One day she was asked
Why was she obsessed?
The answer is one
You may not have guessed.

“As I grew up,
I was always surprised
That a tree could grow
From a nut, pint-sized.

I couldn’t believe
That humans like me
Sprouted from something
As small as a pea.

Everywhere I glanced,
I was surprised,
At night by the stars,
And at day by the skies.

Around every corner,
Beyond every turn,
I find something new;
It makes my heart churn.

And then there’s inventions,
Oh don’t get me started.
Then there’s exploring,
The places we’ve charted!

And humans and kindness,
A heart-warming pair,
I’m always touched by
What people will share.

I’ll never know
What each day has in store.
It’s a feeling I love,
And I want to spread more.

It might be too much,
But I’m aiming to light
A love for unknown
Out of ordinary life.”


Steatoda Grossa

Heading home on the train,
Between my book pages
I glanced, and my eyes
Caught most other gazes.

Except for one figure
Lithe and poised,
Who kept on reading
Despite screeching noise.

She leaned on a pole
And used neither hand
To balance herself as we
Bounced through the land.

Dressed all in black,
Dark hair, and pale skin,
An old book in her palm
With pages worn thin.

While she was reading
Deftly spinning her hair
With three long fingers
Like a web in thin air.

I tried not to stare
Entranced by her spinning.
Snapped out of my daze
As the lights started dimming.

The intercom screamed,
“A train stopped ahead!”
The train brakes gnawed,
And whack – went my head.

I opened my eyes,
Wrenching pain as I scanned.
We were all on the floor.
I slowly started to stand.

Out the window I stared,
A thin figure raced by.
Later learned a thick web
Had saved all our lives.

Go the Extra Mile. Wait, Come Back!

I scrambled to work toting bags galore,
An old foe glared as I passed through the door.
“Still has that chip on his shoulder,” my coworker sighed.
I glanced at his shoulder, hmm, no potatoes fried.

As I walked by the receptionist he dropped his pen,
Bags flipped over my head as I started to bend,
“Don’t bend over backward,” he said with affection
I paused, for bending forward was my direction.

Later in my meeting, with my bags at my feet
My boss walked in, and before taking a seat
She asked if I’d like a cup of Joe?
Horrified, and for Joe’s sake, I said no.

I showcased tables, charts, graphs, and pies,
That explained our company’s lows and highs.
Boss said, “Wow, what a piece of cake!”
Which confused me because I never bake.

“I don’t mean to be a backseat driver,
But could you move that chart up higher?”
Oh boss, who thinks we’re in a car,
I think you’re working much too hard.

“And, I don’t mean to step on your toes…”
She interjected, I looked down and froze.
There was nothing on my feet but my shoes
So I waited ’til she continued with her news.

“Actions are louder than words,” my boss prodded,
Wondering if my neck had popped when I nodded
“So I am promoting you, and you get a raise.”
I beamed at this gesture and the kind praise.

When I Discovered It

Crawling on my hands and knees,
I crossed the threshold of my room.
Toward bed I go to dream of trees,
My other haven since the womb.

Alas I stop before I reach
The place I want to rest my head.
I find a figure in front of me
Blocking the path to my bed.

With limbs like mine but very small,
Laying still, It stirs then rises.
It turns to me, eyes wide, then falls.
Are we the same, but different sizes?

I scoop It up and hold It near,
Wonder about my treasured find.
Concerns of who has left this here
Are quickly pushed out of my mind.

In my palm, the size of a yolk,
It blinks, eyes brimmed with blue and dread,
With my other hand I lightly stroke
A golden nest atop Its head.

Time passes, our dance goes as such,
Fear, then caution, learning, and fun.
My temper was a bit too much,
The only time that It would run.

Everywhere I went, It followed,
On my back, climbing trees and swings,
I saved It from being nearly swallowed,
By T-Rex, among other things.

The dew shone like never before
I watched ferns creep across the trees
I thought of time and how things grow,
And how some things are spread by breeze.

But then, a herd of mad small Its
Stormed in my cave and shot small twigs.
That pierced my skin and twisted fits
I screamed, cried, and clenched my ribs.

I rose and leapt through my cave door,
Thrashed through my homeland once so still.
They chased, down on the forest floor,
My It amongst them, against its will.

The forest ended, I jumped down,
Halted at the edge of a cliff.
To die by arrows or to drown?
I woke up on the deck of a ship.

Off the ship, and into a cage,
Through land with trees I’d never seen.
Climbing never looked less fun,
Tall, thin squares with metallic glean.

Locked indoors in my dark new home
They brought my It with golden hair,
On stage, and forced me to perform,
It watched me with a sad, blue stare.

One day It came and set me free,
I grabbed It and we hurried away.
Set out to find the tallest tree,
Which happened to be both square and gray.

I reached the peak and strained an ear,
Heard shouts of fear from down below,
A metal bird was circling near,
“King Kong, please let our dear Ann go!”

Lockbed Monster

They call me the Lockbed Monster,
With grippy pincers like a lobster.
Stripped of my blankets, I’ll still clamp,
Adhered to bed just like a stamp.

Sun may rise but not my eyelids
As I increase my REM mileage.
Bells and whistles, they won’t do it.
Marching band? I’ll sleep right through it.

A lion roaring in my face?
Twenty elephants in a race?
Through clash and clamor, I won’t surrender,
Locked happily in horizontal splendor.

Hubble’s Handbag

What do you carry in your bag of brains,
Marvels, and memories and little word games?
Do you pack a calculator for everyday use?
A wrench for tightening when things get loose?
A fan for cooling those overworked fuses?
Some ice and heat for soothing your bruises?
A scosh of sun in a sealed tight jar?
A map for days you want to go far?
Photos of everything you’ve ever seen?
A cinema screen to watch as you dream?
A notebook of names, a binder of musings?
A gold case of moments especially amusing?
Got a telescope for long-distance viewing?
A cauldron bubbling with ideas stewing?
Files filled full of insightful defeats
Next to a stack of success recipes?
Records tooting your favorite tunes?
A safebox of sweet words that once made you swoon?
An album of faces you’ll never forget,
Blank pages for ones you haven’t met yet?
The size of the satchel is constantly growing
So don’t stop now, keep on stowing!

You Called?

Buzzer buzzes, I must get going,
Time for me to get out of this head.
It’s early but the juices must be flowing.
It’s my job, so I pop out of bed.

As soon as I’m up, I’m raring to go.
Scramble into my blue coveralls,
Grab my yellow hard hat, I’m out the door
And I jog down the soft spongy halls,

I get to the drum, and turn left and then right,
A maneuver I could do in my sleep.
On the other side, I run into my team,
We continue on shuffling like sheep.

Squeeze through the lobe out into the open,
I turn to grip the craggly ear.
Hoist myself up the familiar path,
Always happy heights isn’t my fear.

At the top of the ear, I grip the hair
In clumps to help as I climb.
I start to sweat as I summit the hill,
And plant my feet on the top of her mind.

“Okay, team, are you ready to go?
Looks like we’ve got a medium drip.”
Our Captain announces as we all gather,
And start on our cross-cranium trip.

We hike across to the head’s middle,
Surveyor inspects the spot with care,
Picks six patches, begins battening,
Tying ropes to thick pieces of hair.

Anchor Men and Women stay behind,
Securing the ropes at the base.
We march forward to the head’s front,
Naturally we quicken our pace.

Nearly there, we fall to a crawl,
Til’ we reach the cliff of the face.
Belly-down we peer over the edge,
Sheer drop always makes my heart race.

I peek behind to check my team,
Ten brave members lining the rope,
A pair of strong hands grip my ankles,
And I settle down into the slope.

Quick nod to my other Cliff Hangers
Fasten a foam hook to the rope’s end,
Slowly lower it down over the drop,
Being careful not to let it bend.

Over the brow, nearly touching the lash,
The hook dangles at the base of the lid.
A short swing toward the eye, a brace, a tug,
Then pulling up as if catching a squid.

My job is obscure, but the perks are swell,
And my boss is a magical bean,
Helping keep eyes in a locked position,
She is otherwise known as Caffeine.