She found her dream career: sailing the Pacific
Then realized her swimming was something horrific.
A sailor wearing an earring cannot drown
She made one last purchase before leaving town,
Bought inflatable earrings, twice as terrific.
“Stepping on cracks may cause your mother pain
Like a broken back, or a bad back strain.”
Avoiding this danger was quite a feat
As I just moved to a cobblestone street.
Now I only leave home by hoverplane.
I can tell you one thing you must never do
Never put on the right before the left shoe.
If you mix it up your foot will be ablaze
You will walk with burnt shoes the rest of your days,
And your toes will become sausages too.
If evil spirits and vampires cause you fright
You must eat garlic every morning, day, and night.
Maybe it’s the smelly breath, that never goes away,
A small price to pay for keeping evil at bay.
But warning, your kisses will have extra bite.